wilderness_explorer: (hmmmm reading)
GOOD AFTERNOON. MY NAME IS RUSSELL. I AM A SENIOR WILDERNESS EXPLORER IN TRIBE 54, SWEAT LODGE 12. I AM LOST AND DO NOT KNOW MY WAY HOME. I HAVE MADE A FIRE AND AM USING THIS THINGY TO TRY ANd fi woah so THAT's how you make the lEtTeRs LiTtLe I wOn

[Post Terminated - Typing Errors consistent with Spambots]
medieval_diabetic: (Default)
It took me a little while to find the place, but it was interesting to note that this Island has 'assigned' us places to stay. Apparently I have a co-resident named Hawkeye. What kind of stupid name is that? Should I be worried that this person might literally be a hawk? It's bad enough I just had a deer bite me in the leg a little while ago getting over here. I punched that little fucker in its sadistic doe-eyed face. Probably would have turned him into deer jerky if it hadn't gotten up and bounded off the second it realized it wasn't going to make me the meal on this damn island.

These cabins are actually nicer than my old home during my childhood. Who uses metal bars to make beds stacked over each other though? Another lesson I've learned so far while being in here: Don't get near the weird three-holed electrical zappers, they will ki-

[Timed out, auto-posted]

Uh... Chacha? Has anyone seen Chacha? I kind of forgot about her, with the whole nearly dying thing. I'll be right back.
The last few days have been... frustrating. I spent more time than I would have liked glued to the chair I was suppose to be working on. WHEN I CATCH YOU, YOU LITTLE BON-BON, I'M GOING TO SHOVE YOU IN THE DRESSER AND LOCK IT! We had been doing so well, too. I thought we were getting along.. but Kronos obviously has worse temper issues than I originally thought. When I accidentally tripped over him he decided to glue my pant leg to our chair. You do realize that in my attempt to free myself I had no choice but to destroy half of the chair? Now we have to fix it.

Oddly, I've been feeling a little lethargic... I wonder if Dolly-san's scary friend is around... or maybe Chacha fed me something bad again. She did offer me some of her dinner the other night when Kronos dumped my meal over my head in revenge for tying him up. It is a little weird to see Chacha.... as she ...he?... oh never mind. At least I missed out on all the horror that apparently occurred... I guess being glued to a chair had its advantages.

Also, Ryuuichi, while it is flattering you decided to paint my cabin as well... might you refrain from including me in everything you and Kenshin do? He's kind of clung onto you like a safety net it seems, Kenshin... maybe you could give him to Gin for babysitting? At least anything he puts in that mans mind you won't have to worry too much about. He's not an impressionable six year old, after all. Even if he acts like one.
So Kenshin spent yesterday trying to explain something to Chacha and I had time to look at the chair. It's got good intentions but the poor thing was soaked in glue and glitter so it was all droopy. I told Ryuiichi to do the walls of the cabin instead which in hindsight may not have been a good idea. I don't THINK you can get high off kids glue but the smell is really strong. On the other hand, I used the hot glue while he was busy and tried to reinforce the chair and now it's outside drying. We'll see after the glitter glue is dry whether it'll work or not.

I have glitter EVERYWHERE now. Ugh, every time I move it flitters off me like Fairy Dust which wouldn't be so bad except it's gotten in my eye twice and that really hurts!

I finally ate all those berries we got the other day! Otherwise they'd go bad. Sorry I didn't share but they were really good. They're small and in little bunches, they're red/almost black and really tangy. I'll have to see if I can find some more.

Is everyone else doing well on their chairs?
Ahhh, I haven't been up this early in a while. It feels good to watch the sun rise and feel the heat on my face... AND IF YOU DON'T QUIT YOUR BLASTED YELLING I'M GOING TO DO MORE THAN TIE YOU FROM THE CEILING, KRONOS! I won't hesitate to gag you! I know you said I should be careful, Kenshin... but there are only so many death threats a person can stand before they crack. Besides, he was trying to use the glue gun to stick card board to my face! I'M NOT THE BASE FOR YOUR SATANIC CHAIR, YOU PRICK! At least we know he can't hurt anyone now. Does anyone have any duct tape? His dirty mouth is really something Chacha shouldn't have to hear.

or if anyone has a bat, we can beat him like a pinata.
Miss Kyoko moved into Hopseed Hovel last evening with Mister Kaoru and explained that I could sleep inside Snowdrift again. I do appreciate not having to remain on guard from predators while I try to sleep so it was a very nice repose. Miss Chacha joined Mister Ryuiichi, Mister Watanuki and I and we all painted for a while before dinner and then bed. Mister Ryuiichi also serenaded us and I must say his voice is unlike any I have ever heard. And such a strange song style. Not quite as strange as Miss Kyoko's chicken song but it was unique in a wholly different way. I understand they use drums and a western instrument called a keyboard as musical backup to his style. I had no idea a personality could change quite so drastically when performing although I have been told I sometimes do something similar. I can understand how Lady Kaoru felt now when I fought with Jin-e.

Miss Chacha sleepwalked and ended up in my bed an hour into the evening. There really isn't room for two full sized people in one bed but she would not let me leave. Miss Chacha you should try sleeping with a stuffed animal. Perhaps Mister Ryuiichi would lend you his bunny for a night to see if you can sleep on your own?

Never-the-less when I woke this morning Lady Kyoko was in my bed in Miss Chacha's place and I fear my hearing has not been normal since. I assure you, Lady Kyoko, I had nothing to do with this change. I cannot imagine how you and Miss Chacha returned to your own cabins and I heard nothing at all. Normally I am much more aware of things happening around me even while asleep. It is quite distressing to be so caught off guard.

Mister Ryuiichi, I have a feeling we may be working on the chair without Lady Kyoko's assistance as she seemed to go into shock before running away to the other cabin. I really have never had such an effect on people. It saddens me.

Mister Ryuiichi wanted to know what I looked like so here is my painting from last evening. I fear I am not much of an artist. But at least you can see general shapes. You should post yours as well, all of you.

Mister Watanuki, thank you for finding the watercolors at the Trading post. They are a great deal like Sumi-e paint but slightly thinner, it was nice to use something I was more accustom to. So many vibrant colors, however, I am NOT used to.
WAh, Wha, uuhhh? WHAT THE HELL IS MOKONA DOING ON THE ISLAND?! IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK JOKE, YUKO? ARE YOU LAUGHING AT MY PANIC? DID YOU HAVE TO SEND HIM OF ALL THINGS?! Even Maro and Moro would be easier to deal with. GAHHH!! My life is so unfair!!

... how did I end up in a different cabin? Where's Chacha and that annoying man Gin?

I see some of you have enjoyed your venture into attempted mass-murder, cross-dressing, bondage, and hypothetical polygamy.  How I wish I was there to witness the havoc!

 Instead, I have resided in a cave for the past five days.  Believing that both the narcolepsy and laughing fits were gone, and I saw no harm in continuing my search for the Island.  Perhaps scaling the cliffs so soon after my recovery from the laughing fits was a misstep.  I woke at the mouth of a cave to someone singing, or to be more precise, somethings singing.  Gaudy pastel sea horses.

 I soon learned that every time a living thing falls into the water at this section of the cliffs, they rescue it while singing a song for an excruciating minute and a half, telling it to “count upon the sea ponies.”  I present you with a recording of this monstrosity.  Yesterday, a tribe of lemmings arrived at the edge of the cliff.  Are you aware how maddening it is to endure that song EVERY time those heinous rodents push one of their own off the precipice?!  


Trying to kill them has proven fruitless without a weapon sufficient for the task.  When I dispatch one of these blasted creatures with a rock, there are two to replace their fallen comrade.  I once grabbed one and threatened to use as a human… pony-fish?... shield in order to gain leave.  Again, numbers proved the victor, and I was “rescued” and again treated to the Sea Pony Song.  I trust that the sea pony population isn’t inexhaustible, but killing them one by one has become tedious for the moment.  No, the best recourse is to leave, and I will later exterminate them all at my leisure.

However, every time I try to leave, some force of nature prevents me from escaping.  I began to climb back up the cliff, only to have a rockslide hinder my ascent.  Even the rockslide right over their cove did not exterminate them!  When I try to swim to another portion of the island, the pastel monstrosities block my way.  On the other hand, I was able to steal one of the oars they use as props in their musical number.

At last, they are asleep.  I can finally make my escape.

Oh, and Island, you can take your beef jerky and shove it up your arse!

Miss Chacha, Mister Watanuki and I parted ways last evening. I have moved into Chitalpa Chalet with Mister Kurapika and Captain Ironfoundersson. I have not seen the good Captain but Mister Kurapika and I have settled in comfortably.

I came across Mister Watanuki strung up in the tree today and cut him down with a knife from the galley. It took a while because I do not think those knives are meant to cut rope. All the blood had rushed to his head and it took a while for him to recover himself enough to walk straight. I see he is doing much better and is back to his old spirited self now. This is such a relief. I really did not think I had the ability to exorcise the demon from his body. I also saw no bright lights in which to jump inside and save him. The demon was very aggressive as well and unlike in the movie it was not confined to a single house.

I apologise to Miss Chacha, I had no idea the movie would be quite so terrifying. Mister Watanuki, if you could just try to help her if she has nightmares, I would appreciate it.

Welcome to the newest people on the Island. I hope you are all doing well still. This place is quite trying but we must make the best of a bad situation, no?

With the interest of getting to know some of you, I have decided to pass the game along to Mister Lee. Mister Lee, truth or dare?
I like this game!! I get to stay with Papa Gin-san too!! =D He hasn't been around much, but when he is he teeches me all kinds of things! Like, did you no that there are speshal balloons that only boys can uze? They're called condumms! They must make boys very happy if they have their own balloon!! =D

Oh! And Papa Gin-san says my majik is like the "messed up Bunkai from hell." =D I askd him if that was a good thing. He wuldn't ansrr. So that must be good! =D

Wussymonkey-san is staying with me again. He screems too much. I like him with the crazy thing that was "sucking his braynz out" according to Papa Gin-san. Papa Gin-san is right. ~_~*

If I would stay with Mama Ken-san and Papa Gin-san togethur then that wuld be the best! Oh! And Princess Geezelle too! I like her lots! OH! OH!! And FUZZY-SAN!! He's so fuzzyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!! I love him!! I hug him lots and lots and lots!! Then he ran away. =( Come back Fuzzy-san!!

Okay! I get to ask a question for the game! Umm...

COATTIE-SAN!! Truth or dare!?! =D
I'm going to kill you Gin! Kill you, kill you, kill you! Did you have to tie me from a damned tree?! HUH?! You even left me there for a whole day!! I had to wait for Kenshin to wander by and finally untie me!! You two new people are no better than he is also! They just walked by and left me there! That stupid carrot head even laughed at me! Why do I have no recollection of what happened, either? There's also this big lump on my head... what did you hit me with, Gin?! I hate you! I can't believe I have to live in the same cabin as you! The island is a jerk! I hate hate hate hate it more than anything! AND WHY IS THERE A GHOST HANGING OUTSIDE OUR WINDOW?! She keeps glaring at Gin. GAH, now she's pretending to slit my throat! I want to go home!! YUKO I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR SENDING ME HERE!!

Oh... and apparently a new game started...it's sounds like a really stupid game too. Who plays truth or dare anymore? Whatever I guess I have to ask someone...

Kenshin, truth or dare?
Miss Chacha, right, Mister Watanuki and I all went out searchin' for Mister Kaoru last evenin'. Miss Chachan 'as been right excited ever since 'avin' breakfast wiv Lady Kyoko. We spent a long time searchin' and Miss Chacha fell asleep so Mister Watanuki and I took turns carryin' 'er. We finally stumbled across 'im this mornin', right, he'd been farffer from the river than we'd imagined.

The deer are tenacious. Me kimono is ripped again, poor fin'. I 'ad ter ask Mister Kaoru ter jump from the chuffin' tree once I drove them hammer and tack a wee. I'm a wee 'urt that 'e seemed ter ffink I wouldn't cotch 'im. I'll get out me spoons.

Neverffeless, we made it hammer and tack to the village before sunrise, init?

I discovered, yesterday, the bloody most amazin' device in us cabin. It is a large box (of the size yer might ship a vase overseas) that lights up wen yer turn it on and wee blokes move inside like movin' photographs! Oi! Miss Chacha insisted on wotchin' a painted moovee called Oliver and Company. She seen the chuffin' dog and kitten on the bloomin' cover and began shoutin' Riiya-kun over and over. The pictures tell a story and move and dance and singg. It truly were amazin'. The blokes 'oo made it must also be right creative in uvver ways as well because they 'ad strange fast movin' carriages wiv no 'orses ter move them at all and them dog and bone devices in normal 'ouseholds. Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you? There were buildings as well, built far up into the sky.
Kupo! Now that I have become quite the proficient master of this technological contraption, it appears that I am finally able to make contact with all of you residents out here in the jungle!

Greetings! I am Stiltzkin, Traveling Moogle Extraordinaire, purveyor of rare artifacts and powerful weapons that have…um…gone missing for the current moment. Alas, it is a most precarious predicament I have been stationed in; but I am handling the loss with amazing grace! Apparently going into a cave that says: “DANGER! DO NOT ENTER!” was not my most brilliant of plans. But on a happier note, it seems that I have crossed uncharted lands outside of Gaia, Shella, or The World That Never Was. Strange place, that last one. To a nomadic Moogle like myself, this place opens up a whole new world of opportunities and rare items to bring back and sell! Oh the profits! I can see them now, and it has my tiny antennae in a giddy tizzy, KUPO!

It appears, however, that I am to encounter quite the array of volatile beasts along my treacherous journey! Already I have been made a portable to-go snack of a flock of fawns who found my tush plump and tasty. Kupow! All the fur is gone from my tiny behind. Nothing more than a stump of bitten skin and tail remain at the moment. I feel strangely violated by the actions of said carnivorous deer. But this shall not deter me from my mission at hand.

Some of you I have already made acquaintances with; but my methods have been to always know the clientele that I am working with along with their shopping wants and needs. So if you would be so kind as to introduce yourself as well, I would be most appreciative of the gesture!

On a separate note: Does anyone have any sound shelter for me to stay in for the night and rest my sore little bum before I go back out again? I fear I might be made the snack of yet another hungry creature should I let my guard down at night without my proper supplies that usually kept me hidden from sight. Kupo!
Wh.. WHAT IS THIS?! I KNEW I felt him around. KNEW IT, my evil radar detector went off. Damn you Shotarou! You got me involved with that creepy guy! I wake up inside a BOX! And once I make it out I find myself in a TREE! I must have fallen from pretty high up too because I'm bruised everywhere. If my face is bruised I'll KILL him. Stuffing me in a box! I DEMAND A REMATCH! WHERE DID YOU SEND ME?! YOU'RE JUST LUCKY I WAS DRESSED AS BO!! He has a lot of padding. I could have broken something. Where are my clothes? I usually wear normal clothes under Bo! I can't chaaaaaange... wahhh~!

Ohhhhh noooooooooooo! I'm supposed to be shooting Mio today and Mr. Tsuruga is going to think I'm late and I don't care about acting!! DAMN YOU BEAGLE! I HATE YOU! I'll make you pay! I'll send you to the deepest bowels of Hell! You think this crappy tree is going to keep me from crushing you? Think again buster!

Oh... Mr. Tsuruga's going to give me that terrifying gentlemanly smile and say something mean like 'Oh you decided to show up, isn't that nice, the rest of us wasted days of shooting because you weren't there.' I know he's gonna hate me for this even more.

Mooookoooo I'm somewhere in a jungle. Do you think I'm dead? Do you think the fairies came and took me away to their world? Why didn't they take me out of the box first. I don't see anything but trees.

That stupid beagle thinks he's won but next time I see him I'll show him! You think you scare me but it's not going to be like last time I have a talisman this time and it'll defeat you for sure! ... Where is it? NOOOOO!!!! OH MY GOD NO!! COOOOORN!! IT'S GONE YOU MADE ME LOSE IT!!

I HATE YOU 100x more now! I hope you got a splinter putting me in that box! I hope it gets infected and festers and falls off and all your fans are disgusted by you! YOU DESERVE IT!

I should have gotten a journal ages ago. I feel so relieved, writing out my thoughts. Ahhh....j31j2n#@
Mister Kurapika and I 'ad a wonderful conversation last evenin', right? I consider meself 'onoured ter have become acquainted wiv 'im and consider 'im a mucker.

We 'ad the bloody contest finals today, and I assume we wait for the Island ter make it's decision on the outcome. I were able ter try, right, for the first time, blueberry pancakes. Ingenious flat bread that is sweet ter the taste and served wiv syrup. The chuffin' cakes were quite sweet on their own so I opted out of addin' on the bloomin' syrup. Cor blimey guv! Right nice Uncle Bob ter Lady Kiryuu, right, Captain Ironfoundersson and Mister Kurapika.

I'm bloody well 'avin' difficulty sleepin' wiv Mister Watanuki's new pet in the bloody cabin, init? It's mince pies glow yellow and I do not believe it actually 'as eyelids. Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. Now that Mister Watanuki 'as calmed dahn over the matter of Miss Chacha's statue, I feel 'e may last much better on the bloomin' Island. Right. I were worried for 'is blood pressure for a wile.

Miss Chacha, I 'ave taken a great deal of yor fread ter the nice man at the bloomin' Tradin' Post 'oo 'as promised ter keep the store stocked wiv it and in exchange gave yer 20 doubloons, a new red cloak, and a sleepin' bag. Now there is room ter move about us cabin again and yer 'ave a sleepin' bag for yorself no matter where yer go.

I thought I ought to thank you for the new clothing, Giselle, but the cockroaches standin’ guard outside our cabin won’t let me pass no matter how many I squish.  Anyhow, a couple coyotes ended up nabbin’ the outfit and gosh darn, no matter how hard I look, I just can’t find it.  They probably burned buried it somewhere.  I guess I’ll just have ta wash what I got on.

I was able ta meet up with the newbie Kronos and we began gatherin’ ingredients for our special food item due later today.  Thanks for the tips, Kiryuu, we were able to put them ta good use with the help of some of Giselle’s ‘friends’.  Please don’t mind the gophers if they’re actin’ a bit stranger than usual, I’m sure the effects’ll wear off eventually.  We just wanted to make sure we was usin’ the best ingredients around the island for ya’ll.

I also had quite a bit of fun with Kurapika the other day.  We should really do it again sometime soon~!  <3

Chacha is such a lovely girl, isn't she! She gave me a bunch of gorgeous gold thread, so my friends and I made her a lovely dress as a thank-you. Here it is, do you like it? We even had enough fabric left over to make a crown! ♥♥♥♥♥



We were on a roll, so suddenly I realized that we'd made new outfits for my rommates. I hope that you like them! You don't want to be stinky and wear the same thing two days in a row, right? : )
For Artie: ♥
Such a princely lad!!


For Gin: ♥
Somehow I thought that red would look stunning on you!


Kronos: ♥
You are such a confident person, and gold looks great on confident people! There was a lot of fabric left over from miss Chacha's dress, so it was a great opportunity!


For the squirrels and birds: ♥


There was no fabric left over to make a dress for me today. I'll have to weave some, I guess! Idle hands are the demon's playthings!! : )

Ahh, it's 10:00 am already! I haven't done much, I must get to that cooking! Artie, may I have your help decorating, please?

Oh, there are no more curtains in our cabin. I hope that's not a problem for anyone.. (But everyone loves the light, don't they?)
Dolly-san decided to wake me up to show me his new "friend" that he brought in from the forest. Apparently neither of them could sleep and decided I shouldn't either.... the computer took a picture of this crazy new "friend".

I think I'm am more scared of it than the doll and new potato addition combined. Maybe Chacha would like to gift him to someone special since I already have Dolly-san and would hate to be a friend hog. o.o;; Would you be so kind? Please?
Today we went to the woods with misster Himura, mister Wantanuki and Chacha!

The sun was in the sky and the sky was blue. Watanuki was screeming like always, he was looking at me weird. I don't know. Maybe he's one of those old men who are shown in the news.

whats really important!!

Look!!!!!!! I took a picture of him!!




His name is Potato and will live with us in the little house!!


Mister Gin said he'd come for me, but potato will defend me, i just know it ~_~
this thing I'm wearing a dirty I should change it
Things have calmed down a bit it seems. I must admit that was a cruel prank that the island pulled... making me think I was back home. OH HIMAWARI-CHAN WE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN SOME DAY!! After all that has happened I am glad for the calm that has settled around myself at least. I still refuse to help anyone out with those evil swans!! I like my eyes, and face, and jugular! More importantly my life!

Oddly, after the incident with the ghost, and how I hate to admit it, "dolly-san" and I seem to be getting along. He still creeps the hell out of me, but he's decided to become more useful and even helped me look for some tools to use. I still don't agree with you Kenshin. I think the soup would have been a better idea. Finding things to use for this new recipe isn't easy and the minute I venture out into the woods that deer starts to follow me. I think I need a weapon of some kind if I'm going to go out there. Does anyone have anything useful? AND DAMNIT, GISELLE! WOULD YOU TELL YOUR "FRIENDS" TO STOP CHEWING ON MY TOES WHILE I SLEEP?!
I dunno why, but Mama Ken-san and Kuthaleeka-san dont like me using my majik. Majik is so yousfull, so I made them sumthing when they wernt looking!

Look! )
Being followed by that bizarre idol as people stared in shock and fascination, was indeed the most humiliating experience I have ever had. Before anyone was harmed, I headed toward a supposedly tranquil area. The park. The horrid statue remained next to me the whole time, as people started gathering around it. A few minutes later, it was on the news. There was even a religious group claiming it was an array of their god. They were convinced I was their Prophet. I adamantly denied everything!

Fortunately, the idol vanished. Thanks to Gin, though.

I had to use my Hunter License to obtain a free room in a hotel. But when I woke up, I was back at the Island. In the Ladies' restroom to be more precise. I apologize, it was not my intention.

Truthfully, I am glad I never returned to the city. All was a hallucination. The statue must have returned to its righteous place now. With Watanuki.


Today I will go to the river to retrieve those leaves for the meal, while Miss Kiryuu attempts to prepare -it-. Captain Ironfoundersson continues to guard the area, so no vermin approaches while we experiment with the stove. It would be useful if something was done regarding the mildew odor our cabin has, it can attract spiders. Those vile creatures enjoy humid, moldy places.


Mister Kenshin, I would like to know if you could... lend me the sewing kit? Do not misunderstand me, please.
I don't understand... When I woke up yesterday, I was back home! Oh Andalasia... Everyone, it's a wonderful land.. you should come and visit me! ♥ Everybody, please come to my wedding when I get married to my lovely Prince Edward!! It will be a most magical day.. One day..

But I couldn't find Edward anywhere!! I was so excited that I woke up and started looking around, but couldn't find him. So I thought that if I sat down and sang, he would find me yet again. Nothing.. My, it was lonely. I decided to go on a walk with my friends, but suddenly it felt like something hard struck me and the next thing I remember is waking up here, covered in squirrels!
...

I guess we should go out today and get the ingredients today for our recipe. I do so love to cook, so maybe that will cheer me up... Yes, yes, it will! And my team members are such lovely people, I know that I'll have a great time out with them~
It seems we have returned. And I see the statue has returned to it's original size and is still trying to hug Mister Watanuki.

I miss Mister Sano, Master Yahiko and Lady Kaoru. And my sword.

I think I will go buy a sewing kit from the man at the trading post and go about patching my clothes.
..............
...I never knew statues could cry.... I'm at a complete loss.
One of the ghosts from the island seems to have followed me home... and in its wrath to kill me itself it seems to have done something insulting to the crazy statue and made it cry... I fear my hometown will be washed away soon if he doesn't stop. Are there any suggestions to stop this tragedy? As well as get rid of the hungry spirit?



I DON'T WANT TO DIE, DAMNIT! SOMEONE SAVE ME! THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO SPEND MY BIRTHDAY!!
I had lots of fun! Met new frendz, and had a good time! Seravi-sensei iznt home yet, so Im gonna go play with Riiya-kun!

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February 2013

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